A SEAL Team Six member walks into a bar....

A friend posted this joke to my Facebook page:

A SEAL Team 6 member goes into a bar.

The bartender says "Thank you so much for your service! Any drink you want is on me."

The SEAL says, "I'll take a Bin Laden."

The bartender tells him he doesn't know that drink.

The SEAL says, " It's easy. It's two shots and a splash of water."

--
For visitors who are sensitive Muslims and/or admirers of Osama bin Laden whose feelings were hurt by the preceding joke, I present the first official picture of his replacement at the head of al-Qaeda:

The new leader of al-Qaeda, Muhamad Mohammed (right), prepares for Jihad

How to celebrate the death of Osama bin Ladenwithout offending the sensibilities of Muslims:Give me birthday presents!

There are no people in this world who are more sensitive and easily offended than Muslims. Cartoons offend them. Teddy bears offend them. Women offend them. Being offended offends them. Hell, Muslims offend Muslims.

And now, celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden, the dumping of bin Laden's body in the deep blue sea, and the promise of the White House releasing pictures of bin Laden's dead carcass offends Muslims.

So, how can a person who is concerned with not hurting the delicate feelings of our sensitive Muslim neighbors go about celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden?

The answer is easy! Do what they do when someone is brutally killed!

Remember scenes like this one?

In celebration of the murder of thousands of Americans on 9/11/2001, the ever-sensitive Muslims, whose lives revolve around the reaffirmation of all that is good and gentle about the best in human beings, handed out candy and treats to children and passer-bys across the "Muslim world".

Therefore, the way to celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden without offending Muslims, is to give gifts and treats to strangers! And who is stranger in your life than me, Steve Miller? You don't know me AND I'm strange!

So--and I'm talking especially to you liberals out there--join in the celebration of Osama bin Laden's death AND express your respect for Muslim culture and sensitives by giving gifts to ME. My birthday is on May 7, so your gift-giving will do double-duty! Let's all join together in political correctness!

There are two easy ways to give me presents. You can buy something off my Amazon.com wish list by clicking here, or you can give the gift that keeps on giving by putting cash in my Paypal account using the button below.

Give me gifts. It's the best way to show your respect for the Religion of Peace (while loving the fact there's less evil in the world today).

Cinema Steve: Fun AND Educational!

Attention teachers! You are looking at a new weapon in your fight to bring knowledge and insights to the kiddies you are teaching about film, comic books, and other topics of great importance to popular culture...

There is now proof that the Cinema Steve blogs aren't just entertaining, they have the capacity to inform young minds!

First... I am certified SMARTER THAN AVERAGE!!

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Plus, I make my brilliant insights accessible to the masses--be they school kids or devout worshipers of Barack Obama or Rush Limbaugh! I ran my blogs through through this tester, and here are the results:

Cinema Steve (you are here!) is written for a 5th grade level of education (according to the Flesch-Kincaid rating system) and has reading ease scores of 70.5 (according to the Flesch rating system, where 60-70 is considered optimal) and 7.5 (on the Gunning Fog scale, where the lower the number, the easier the read, and 15-20 being the typical range for academic papers).

Here are the rankings for the rest of the blogs:

Movies You Should [Die Before You] See
Gunning Fog Rating: 8.8
Flesch Rating: 59.8
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

Shades of Gray
Gunning Fog Rating: 7.9
Flesch Rating: 62.6
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 5th

Terror Titans
Gunning Fog Rating: 8.5
Flesch Rating: 61.3
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 5th

The Bela Lugosi Collection
Gunning Fog Rating: 9.4
Flesch Rating: 65.5
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

The Boris Karloff Collection
Gunning Fog Rating: 9.2
Flesch Rating: 64.4
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

The Charles Band Collection
Gunning Fog Rating: 8.8
Flesch Rating: 66.2
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

The Peter Cushing Collection
Gunning Fog Rating: 8.6
Flesch Rating: 62
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

The Universal Horror Archive
Gunning Fog Rating: 9.3
Flesch Rating: 58.7
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 6th

Watching the Detectives
Gunning Fog Rating: 7.7
Flesch Rating: 66.1
Flesch-Kincaid Grave Level: 5th

Four out of Five sexy evil geniuses say,
"The Cinema Steve Blogs are good for expanding mind!"

Remembering and Immortalizing Bin Laden

Articles like this one (where Muslim Maniacs and hypocrites whine about the demise of their idol) and this one (where a lie is put to the claim that Islam is a "peaceful religion" that was "hijacked by a few extremists and twisted for their own agenda"... if is WAS true, would any "scholar" who valued his reputation be quoted in the world press complaining about Bin Laden's carcass being sunk to the bottom of the ocean?) and other pieces soul-searching about the death of the great Shit--sorry Sheik--reminded me that I did my own tribute to him back in 2007.

Click here to see Osama bin Laden as presented in the "Big Eyes, Small Mouth" roleplaying game.

Osama bin Laden: Dead and Buried at Sea

Best coverage of Bin Laden's demise

A little satire as we consign Osama bin Laden to the garbage bag of history.



America: F*ck Yeah!

Blogging A to Z: The Afterword

The originator of the Blogging A to Z April Challenge has asked that participant make posts about what they've learned this month.

Well, I learned that I CAN post nonsense every day on the Cinema Steve blog, but it comes at the expense of the other blogs. Usually, this blog sees two or three posts a week (at most) with two or three of my other blogs seeing a similar amount. While what went on here was merely a concentrated version of what usually happens here--with a post every day instead of every two-three days--the time spent here meant less posting happened elsewhere. Not good overall, I think. I also discovered a number of new and interesting blogs and greatly expanded the list ones I subscribe to but rarely have time to actually read. :)

By the time "S" approached, I had figured out to research posts for several blogs at once, hence the emergence of a Cab Calloway mini-postfest, with material appearing both here and at Shades of Gray. It's something that's happened on my blogs before, usually by accident more than design (unless it was a planned blogathon) but maybe it's something I'll try to do more often.

I've also confirmed that, despite an ever-growing number of hits, not many people make comments. The poll and direct appeal for them proved that. Oh well... I suppose I can be happy with the fact that they drop by!

If you missed any of the A to Z posts, here's a convenient list of them all.

A: April Fools Advice
B: Blues for Allah (music video)
C: Catwoman: The Catfiles (graphic novel review)
D: Doctor Who and the Pyramids of Mars (movie review)
E: Enemy Ace Archives (graphic novel reviews)
F: Fatboy Slim and Christopher Walken in Reverse! (music video)

G: Graphic Novels and Comic Book Reviews
H: Health Care AND Heroes
I: Infidelity Always Leads to Disaster (movie review)
J: John Carter's Eternal Love
K: Krazy Kat and the Heppy Land, Furfur Away
L: Late
M: Mike Oldfield (music videos)
N: Nobody
O: Office Staff AND Oatmeal at McDonald's (Food review)
P: The Pause that Refreshes

Q: Question of the Day
R: Relationship Advice AND Repent! (ya only gots 30 days left!)
S: Sesame Street: Then and Now (music videos)
T: Terrorist Twits
U: Unbelievable Stupidity (Jailbird Parade post)
V: 'Vampirella: The Dracula War' (graphic novel review)
W: W is for... Waresh, Wind, and Wave
X: Xtro: The Complete 'Trilogy' (movie reviews)
Y: You... yes, YOU!
Z: Zombie movies you may not have seen (but should)!

My thanks to everyone who dropped by in April. I hope you found something interesting or amusing during your stay! (And thanks to my regular readers. Please take the poll on the sidebar, so I know what emphasize as things settle back into the regular routine around here.)

Cause for global celebration: Bin Laden Dead!

Newsflash: Osama bin Laden is taking Satan's cock up the ass as I type these words.

First, the main attraction: Officials: Bin Laden killed near Islamabad

Second, the after-party, with Americans celebrating and President Obama behaving like an actual American President for once: Bin Laden dead, Obama says justice is done

It's been reported before that Osama bin Laden has been killed, but never with this degree of detail. And as a special bonus, at least one of his foul off-spring were reportedly sent to Hell at the same time. This time, reports state that the bin Laden carcass is actually in U.S. possession.

What a great way to start my birthday week! It will be a great gift from the universe if it turns out there is a little less evil in the world today.

The trash finally got taken out.