While the American news-media is sitting around hyperventilating with excitement over who Barack Obama will pick for his prom date--sorry, running mate--Mary Clare Jalonick of the AP has filed what's got to be one of the biggest non-stories of the 2008 presidential campaign:
WASHINGTON (AP) - Former South Dakota Sen. Tom Daschle said Monday there is no chance Barack Obama will pick him as a running mate.
The former Senate majority leader and close adviser to the Democratic presidential candidate has turned over personal information the campaign is using to review potential vice presidential nominees. But Daschle said he is confident he is not Obama's choice.
"I did give (them) documents a long time ago, but these matters have been resolved for a long time now as far as I'm concerned," Daschle told The Associated Press in an interview.
In other important political news, there is no chance that Barack Obama will pick me as his running mate.
(The McCaine campaign has been whining about how the news media is giving Obama's campaign more coverage than they're getting. With pointless puff-pieces like the one quoted above being generated just so they can write SOMETHING about him makes me think they may have a point.)
Early this week, a bunch of publicity hungry media hacks trotted out some Very Special Protesters, handed them signs, dressed them in bizarrily inappropriate shirts (like ones with a "No Retards Allowed" symbol on it) and started screeching at the cameras about how "Tropic Thunder" should be boycotted because we should all be offended that the word "retard" is used in the movie. (You can see a picture of the Very Special Protesters in their "No Retards Allowed" shirts by clicking here.)
Never mind that it is used in a conversation between two characters talking about actors who play mentally challenged characters hoping to boost their careers, and at similar moments. Never mind that the use of "retard" in the film is in a context that reflects badly on the character using it, as well as the movie industry for their approach to using Very Special People as characters in films. No, the publicity whores thought they had ahold of something here.
Thankfully, they were wrong. Thankfully, the American people are not the retards these publicity whores took them for. (Well, at least those of them who aren't in favor of government control of what can and can't be said on the radio, television, and internet.)
The Los Angeles Times reported today (Friday) that when online ticket seller Fandango asked its customers whether the boycott call made them less interested or more interested in seeing the movie, 77 percent responded "more interested."
I still think "Tropic Thunder" is going to go down in history as a bomb--it cost way too much to make--but the media whores and their Very Special Prop Protesters aren't the ones responsible.
Tropic Thunder (2008) Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Danny McBride, Nick Nolte, Brandon Soo Hoo, Tom Cruise, and Matthew McConaughey Director: Ben Stiller Rating: Eight of Ten Stars
Five actors (Baruchel, Black, Downey, Jackson and Stiller) starring in a movie about an extraction mission in the Viet Nam war find themselves in a very real fight for their lives against Laotian heroin producers after the director decides to drop them in the middle of the jungle to bring more realism to the film.
"Tropic Thunder" is a satire-filled spoof on the Hollywood movie industry and the excesses and escessively large personalities involved with making movies. It's a film that leaves no pretension unpoked and no movie-industry stereotype unmolested.
The stars of 'Tropic Thunder'--Kevin Sandusky, left, Alpa Chino, Tugg Speedman, Kirk Lazarus and Jeff Portnoy--with director Damien Cockburn. (Actually, it's Jay Baruchel, left, Brandon T. Jackson, Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr. and Jack Black, as actors playing actors, and actor Steve Coogan playing a director who are making a movie named 'Tropic Thunder' in 'Tropic Thunder'.)
Although it's as self-absorbed as the pampered movie stars it pokes fun at, this is a very enjoyable film if you have any interest in the personalities behind the characters and the business people behind the movies. It's even funnier if you've had a chance to see some of these people in action. While none are as cartoonish as what we have here in this comedy, the character types are all very recognizable, as is the pseudo-intellectual idiocy that's popular in many acting and movie circles.
The running theme in the film that no-one in Hollywood is genuine and that the biggest fakes, liars and cheats are the most successful is expressed with more accuracy and humor in this film than I've seen in a long time. Every character is part-and-parcel with this message--the smartest and most capable character in the bunch is a young actor who is obviously going to have a future never rising above the status of supporting character actor, and the most successful among them is such a mess of insecurities and self-deception that he doesn't even really know who he is anymore--and the story emphasizes it over and over in ways that are both funny and subtle enough that we never feel like it's being rammed down our throats.
There's nothing that we haven't seen done before, but it's all done exceptionally well here.
Every actor in the film is spectacular, from child actor Brandon Soo Hoo who plays an underage drug kingpin whose a crack shot with a bazooka (the kid does a great job, especially considering this is his first movie--to Tom Cruise who has a great turn under heavy make-up as a truly repulsive Hollywood studio executive. It can also truly be said that 2008 is the year of Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr., as between "Iron Man", "Kung Fu Panda", and this film, they've appeared in some high quality movies.
And just so there's no doubt, anyone who is upset about the use of the word "retard" in this film is an idiot who is just looking to be offended. If they hadn't been so busy taking offense, they would have seen that the point of the exchange was that exploiting the handicapped in movies is sleazy and cheap... and that one of the characters in the conversation was being at least partially sarcastic.
Now that I've seen "Tropic Thunder", I believe doubly what I said in this post, but I need to add that I think those assholes who are exploiting retards to grab headlines with their faux and misplaced outrage are even slimier than the fictional characters involved with the fictional "Simple Jack" movie.
Oh, and if anyone out there knows an asshole or a retard calling for a boycott of "Tropc Thunder", please tell them that I went to see it on opening day because of them, and I further supported the theater by purchasing a small popcorn and small soda. I probably would have waited until the movie was on DVD and I hardly ever buy snacks when attending a film. I also have used the word "retard" as a pejorative more in the past three days than I have in the three years previously. It's not a word I typically use, but those assholes have made it an imperative to do so with your idiocy.
I encourage everyone to go see "Tropic Thunder". Bring a friend. Let's show how retarded this call for a boycott was. And make sure you get there early, not only so you can get some popcorn, but you also don't want to miss the exclusive preview for the upcoming Kirk Lazarus/Tobey Maguire movie "Satan's Alley"!
(BTW, with a rumored $150 million dollar price-tag, I think this movie is ultimately will be declared a failure because I doubt it'll make THAT kind of money... but let's see if we can't show those publicity hungry assholes who are making up reasons to be offended that a funny, well-made film will have an audience despite their antics (and even the antics of the Very Special Differently Abled People they're using as props).
So, a bunch of retarded morons--sorry... very special, differently-abled morons--are protesting Ben Stiller's "Tropic Thunder" because a) a very dumb actor character in the film is famous for playing a retard character, and b) the word retard is used to describe both the character played and the dumb actor in question.
Everything I've heard and seen about the film indicates to me that it throws a bad light on the dimwitted, ego-maniacal characters featured in the film, and that those who are heard using the word "retard" are, well, probably retarded.
However, "community activists" and--my personal favorite--"disability advocates"--are working themselves into a frenzie in order to get media attention and parading angry retards for the camera... including dressing one in a shirt with a "No Retards" symbol on the chest. (Did that retard really know what he was dressing in? Do these retards really know what they're protesting or are they simply simple-minded props?)
It's hard to tell, because those organizing these protests are more dimwitted and retarded than any of the fictional characters in the film. Their protest is making me give the film some advanced publicity on this blog, something I wouldn't have done otherwise. They've also made me move the film up my priority list to the very top.
When assholes call for boycotts against a movie for idiotic (or even retarded) reasons, I feel obligated to catch that film in its opening weekend. I just hope this film is a little better than "The Love Guru."
To read AP article on the retarded protests against "Tropic Thunder" (and Dream Works' appropriate response), click here.
"Tropic Thunder" opens Friday, August 15.
(By the way... does a "disability advocate" encourage people to sniff glue, cut off limbs, or smash their heads against brick walls so they can become "disabled"? Or is that just a term for someone who exploits retards for personal gain?)
The sorry sack of shit who was once Osama bin Laden's driver/human buttplug, Salim Hamdan, has been tried and convicted for being the al-Qaeda scum that he is.
Like all these cowardly Lions of lslam he's cries like a baby when called to account for his part in the savage butchery of innocent victims. This guy is more disgusting than most of them. Here's what he had to say, according to the AP and other wire services:
"It was a sorry or sad thing to see innocent people killed. I don't know what could be given or presented to these innocent people who were killed in the US," Salim Hamdan said at his sentencing hearing, speaking in Arabic through an interpreter. "I personally present my apologies to them if anything what I did have caused them pain."
I think the best thing to do is to let this guy present his apologies in person to all the people who were murdered while he was on his knees giving blow- and handjobs to Osama bin Laden. I think the best thing would be to take him out back and shoot him through the head.
After all, as things presently stand,many of people he has caused pain can't hear him apologize BECAUSE THEY ARE DEAD!
Did this bastard try to turn Bin Laden in after 9/11? Did he do ANYTHING to stop what's been going on? Of course he didn't. He has a million excuses for why he didn't do anything, but the fact remains that he went along with the boys of al-Queerda until he was called to account.
He deserves to be executed, as do all the assholes who actively participate in or support terrorist activities.
Some people just won't go away. The latest of such assholes is Rajan Zed, self-appointed defender of All Things Hindu.
In a statement released Monday, Zed demanded (on behalf of Hindi everywhere) that Mike Meyers personally apologise for his portrayal of a comical spiritual leader in movie flop "The Love Guru."
While I think Meyers and everyone involved with the making of "The Love Guru" owes apologies to everyone who was subjected tothat craptacular movie, I wish that Zed anyone associated with him are specifically excluded from that apology.
I further hope that any apology for "The Love Guru" ends with, "And Rajan Zed can go fuck himself into his next life for all we care."
Here's the latest from Zed, via WENN...
Hindu leader leader Rajan Zed is demanding that that funnyman Mike Meyers publicly apologise for "lampooning Hinduism" in "The Love Guru."
In a statement released to WENN on Monday, Zed stated that although the apology may not completely undo the damage done to the community, it might help "heal the wounds somewhat of a disturbed Hindu populace".
Zed, the president of Universal Society of Hinduism, says, "Ksama, or forgiveness, is one of the main virtues of Hindu ethics. If Mike Myers offers a genuine public apology, Hindus would not only absolve him but might also pray for his success in future movies."
Zed launched a protest movement against The Love Guru in March, urging all Hindus and other religious groups to boycott the film.
He claims that the failure of the film is largely down to his protest campaign.
Zed is a self-absorbed, self-deluded moron whose ego is too big for words. "The Love Guru" flopped because it was a steaming pile of crap. In fact, if Zed wasn't such a publicity hungry asshole, it would have done far worse at the box office, because I'm certain a number of people went to see it because of him rather than staying away.
In 1978, the first unstoppable mad slasher of cinema drenched the movie screens with blood. Michael Myers, the silent, white-masked killer who butchered his parents one Halloween night when he was still a small child, and then escaped from an asylum many years later to finish the job on another Halloween night--because he missed his sister the first time around--still stands tallest among his imitators, from Jason Vorhees on down the line.
The original “Halloween” not only opened the floodgates for slasher flicks in the 1980s (and a few of the genre continue to trickle out to this very day), it started the career of suspense film director/writer/musical score composer John Carpenter, the late and very-much-missed producer/writer Deborah Hill, and actress Jamie Lee Curtis.
It's now 30 years since "Halloween" was unleashed upon the public, and that film still stands as one of the best-made and smartest of all slasher flicks, and it still deserves a place on any Top 25 Horror Movies list.
This post offers reviews of the the best films that has Michael Myers slashing his way through the plot. In fact, it covers the only films with the character that are worth seeing. (And, yes, I feel comfortable making an absolute pronouncement, because I fear the god-awful Rob Zombie remake in 2007 killed the franchise once and for all... one year short of this auspicious 30th anniversary. Although, maybe not. The graphic novel "Night Dance" was a spectacular read, so maybe Michael will be back to splash the screen with blood again.)
Halloween (1978) Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance Director: John Carpenter Rating: 8/10
Michael Myer, who has been confined to a mental institution since committing several brutal murders as a young child, escapes and returns to his hometown to kill his last remaining relative, his sister. While his psychiatrist Dr. Loomis (Pleasance) tries to get the local sheriff to clear the streets of Halloween trick-or-treaters to protect them from a killer who the doctor believes to literally be possessed by evil spirits, Michael is cutting his way through the population of Haddonfield, getting ever closer to his actual goal, his sister, Laurie (Curtis).
"Halloween" was the first of this type of movie--an unspeakably violent, hands-on killer butchers his way through hapless victims until one girl faces him alone--and it still remains the best. The gore may be mild compared to the countless slasher flicks that follow, but the tension and terror flowing from the screen remains unmatched.
All actors featured in “Halloween” turn in great performances, with Curtis’ portrayal of the terror-stricken, yet scrappy, Laurie being particularly impressive. Horror movie veteran Pleasance also turns in a great performance as the stressed-beyond-stressed-out, gun-toting mental health professional bent on stopping a man who is “pure evil” before he murders again. Even the actor playing the masked, silent Michael Myer is wonderful—he has an animal-like way of cocking his head that is very creepy.
Other strong aspects that really make “Halloween” stand out is the camera-work, lighting, and set-dressing. All of these combine to turn typical small-town America into a creepy and threatening environment that is as much a character in the film as the principle actors. Much of the tension that is built in the early parts of the film grows from the curiously unsettling aura throughout the town of Haddonfield.
Finally, the soundtrack score of "Halloween" needs to be singled out for praise. Performed completely on synthesizers by director Carpenter, it stands as not only one of the creepiest horror movie scores but also as one of the best works of electronica ever composed. Plus, no other horror movie has a theme as memorable as "Halloween." (Only "The Exorcist" comes close, and the theme from it wasn't originally composed for the movie.)
Halloween II (1981) Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasance Director: Rick Rosenthal Rating: 7/10
'Halloween II" is a direct sequel to the original movie, picking up pretty much exactly where it left off. After narrowly escaping death at the knife-wielding hands of her insane brother, Laurie is taken to the local hospital while an apparently dead Michael Myers is taken to the morgue in its basement. It quickly becomes apparent that someone was a bit hasty in declaring Myers dead—a natural mistake since Dr. Loomis had shot him six times in the chest--and soon he is stalking through the darkened hospital and sending everyone on the graveyard shift to the graveyard. Maybe Laurie won’t live to see the sun come up on November 1st after all.
The film takes place almost entirely within the Haddonfield hospital. Director Rick Rosenthal. Rosenthal successfully uses the empty, darkened hallways to evoke suspense and horror, and to eventually emphasize the isolation of Laurie as she for the second time in one night is the object of her brother’s murderous intentions.
On the acting front, we’ve got Curtis and Pleasance reprising their roles from the original “Halloween”, and they are just as good as they were before. Curtis once again strikes a perfect balance between strength and terror, and Pleasance once again excels as a man obsessed with putting an end to what he views as evil given form on Earth.
The only weakness that prevents this film from being as good as the original “Halloween” is, curiously, the script. Although Carpenter and Hill wrote both, the story for “Halloween II” never really seems to build up quite the same momentum as the original movie. The middle is actually downright dull at times.
“Halloween II” is still worth watching, but a tighter script would have made it so much better.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) Starring: Donald Pleasance, Ellie Cornell, Danielle Harris, and Michael Pataki Director: Dwight H. Little Rating: 6/10
Ten years after Michael Myers brought real terror and bloodshed toa Halloween night in the small town of Haddonfield, he escapes while being transferred between two asylums. He returns to his old stalking grounds, but finds that his sister, Laurie is now out of his reach. However, his young niece Jamie (Harris) is not so lucky. Soon, the bodies start to pile up, and Jamie and her teenaged protector (Cornell) may not survive the night, even though Dr. Loomis (Pleasance) is once again stalk Michael as he stalks them.
With “Halloween 4,” Myers joins the ranks (whether he is elevated or if he falls depends on your point of view) of all the other indestructible psycho-killers, since he was burned to a crisp on camera at the end of “Halloween II.” However, Dr. Loomis, is also back (and he didn’t fare much better than Myers in that fire), so he is probably the only slasher-flick hero who is as indestructible as killer himself!
Like “Halloween II” was an inferior film when compared to the original, so is “Halloween 4” weaker than both its predecessors. The greatest flaw is the setting of Haddonfield. Where Carpenter and his crew managed to infuse the town itself with a sense of dreadful anticipation, the director of this film just conveys that it is like any other little town. Because of this, the movie doesn’t seem quite as suspenseful as those that came before. Yes, there are plenty of shocks, and Myers is now conducting himself as we have come to expect from a man in his like of work (like Jason, and Freddy, and dozens and dozens of other cinema maniacs that appeared in the decade since Myer first cocked his head at Laurie Strode), but the same level of tension is never quite reached.
Acting-wise, however, the performances are as good as they were in the first pair of movies. Curtis isn’t in the film—her character reportedly died in a car accident shortly after she gave birth to a daughter—but instead we have Danielle Harris, a very talented child actress playing Jamie, Myers new target. Cornell also puts on a good show as the stubborn teenaged girl trying to keep herself and Jamie alive as Myers is killing people all around them. At first blush, Pleasance’s performance seems to be a bit much, but if one considers that Dr. Loomis has shot Myers in the chest six times, in the face twice, and burned him alive, and still the human monster fails to die, then it would make sense that the character has gone completely nuts. In that light, his performance is perfect.
Like “Halloween II”, this installment suffers from script problems. In this case, the script isn’t ponderous, but instead is burdened with some useless and annoying subplots (such as one involving brave rednecks hopping in their truck to go kick Michael-ass). I suppose the filmmakers sensed the other problem with the film’s storyline—that Myers was starting to no longer be scary. We saw all his tricks in the first two films, and all we had now was the same as before, except he was so monstrous that he would go after a very young child.
This problem with Michael Myers is what let to some truly stupid missteps in the three movies that followed. Someone, somewhere, decided to take Dr. Loomis at his word. Soon, the series was burdened with bizarre Satanic cultists. It's almost a shame that "Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers" marks the point at which the series tips over the edge of the abyss and plummets into the Bottomless Depths of Truly Crappy, because it has what I've always thought to be the most striking poster/home-video cover image of the entire series--Michael holding his trademarked butcher knife with the blade fading into an image of a young girl in a harlequin costume. Harris and Cornell are also both back with excellent performances. It’s a shame the overall movie isn’t have been better. (That's the illo at the tip of this post, by the way.)
The final word on “Halloween 4” is that it’s worth seeing if you like your slasher-flicks with some good acting. But you should avoid everything that follows it... with the exception of "Halloween: H20"
Halloween: H20 (1998) Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Adam Arkin, Michelle Williams, and LL Cool J Director: Steve Miner Rating: 7/10
Keri Tate (Curtis) has spent the past twenty years trying to put a single night horror behind her. Her successful career as an educator has helped, as has the love of her now-teenaged son (Hartnett) and the fact that she faked her death and changed her name when she became pregnant with him. But now, the past is coming back with a vengeance... Keri will no longer be able to deny that she is Laurie Strode. Michael Myers is back, and he still wants her.
"Halloween: H20" is the only entry in the series since "The Return of Michael Myers" that is worth your time. In fact, it's one of the best slasher movies to emerge from the late 1990s when the genre enjoyed a bit of a revival, because it doesn't engage in self-mockery and remains true to the tone and mood of the original "Halloween" films while presenting a slasher story with a slightly different structure than what we're used to.
Like the original "Halloween", the film is a bit slow in its wind-up, but during this first part of the movie, we get to know the characters--the still-emotionally tortured Laurie/Keri, her son, her would-be suitor (Arkin), and likable innocents who are soon to run into the human killing machine that is Michael Myers.
Also like the original "Halloween", this film does not rely on body count and gory, creative butchering of characters. Instead, it relies on the fact that teh audience actually cares about what happens to the characters in the film. With its well-written script, solid cast--Curtis in particular is fabulous as a broken Laurie Strode who suddenly finds the strength to fight not only for herself but for the life of her son--and a highly underrated director at the helm, the audience is drawn into the action and terror as it builds and unfolds.
(I feel Miner is underrated, because this and other horror films he's done shows that he understands that there needs to be a pay-off to any build-up of suspense, and that the key to making a horror movie truly scary is that the characters in the film need to be human and sympathetic. Both of these facts seem to be lost on many modern horror film directors who believe that one fake scare after another and flat characters surrounded by CGI monsters is all that's needed.)
"Halloween: H20" was a great way to celebrate twenty years of Michael Myers striking fear into the hearts of audiences around the world--it almost managed to reach the great heights acheived by Carpenter and Company in the original film. It remains the last worthwhile entry in the series.
