Kim-Jong Il dead at 69

Kim Jong Il, North Korea's mercurial dictator has died. He was 69.

Kim has checked out.

A tearful television announcer reported the news on North Korean television. According to that report, the cause of the dead was "overwork" from his dedication to his people (and keeping them on the brink of starvation while neighboring countries enjoyed economic boom times).

According to sources who wish to remain anonymous. Lil' Kim breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing the news. She had reportedly been living in fear that Kim would take to rapping professionally and sue her for the name that by all rights should be his.

South Korean television reported that Kim had died during a train trip. They did not conform if he had died from overwork or not.

In honor of Kim's memory, we here at Cinema Steve suggests everyone buy a copy of "ROLF!: The Breast Hope for Peace" which details his heroic struggle against terrorists and Martians along side Barack Obama, Chuck Norris, and Huda the Bikini-clad Wonder of World Peace.