Sunday, April 4, 2010

Jesus wore spandex for our sins

Ultrachrist! (2004)
Starring: Jonathan C. Green, Jordan Hoffman, and Celia Montgomery
Director: Kerry Douglas Dye
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

At the dawn of the 21st century, Jesus the Christ (Green) returns to Earth to resume his ministry. He starts in the most sinful city on Earth--New York--but finds that no one is willing to pay attention to his message. After a marketing executive he meets in a bar convinces him he needs a flashier image, he gets a disillusioned fashion designer (Montgomery) to design and sew a spandex superhero costume for him. Thus decked out, Jesus takes to the streets to combat sin and to have New Yorkers accept him as their personal savior. But many forces stand arrayed against Jesus: The Anti-Christ conjures the ultimate evils of Hilter, Nixon, Vlad the Impaler, and Jim Morrison of The Doors to fight him, and God the Father takes offense at Jesus' new superhero image and dispatches his son's school friend Ira, the Saint of Erotic Massages and Lapdances (Hoffman) to force Jesus to take a more conservative approach to ministering to the sinful. Can even an Ultrachrist triumph against such formidable opposition?


"Ultrachrist!" is a surprisingly well-made and intelligent comedy that in the final analysis is actually pro-religion. It is an incredibly silly movie, but it manages to remain respectful to Christianity and even to Jesus, who, even as he struggles to adjust to the modern world, remains a sensitive and wise person. It never sinks to the level of mocking or belittling the figure of Jesus, but derives its humor from funny lines, mild slapstick, and "fish-out-of-water" moments, The Jesus character also also defined by near-boundless kindness and a near-total trusting and loving nature. The difference between God (manipulative and vengeful) and Jesus (trusting and forgiving) also give rise to some of the film's more intelligent moments.

While I suspect that many uptight, kneejerk Christians will take offense at the film, I think that any movie that portrays Jesus as insightful enough to figure out how to redeem even Richard Nixon. I wouldn't recommend showing this film to the church group, nor to the kids, but I think that it can be appreciated by Christians who recognize there is a disconnect between the divine and the mortal, because it's all filtered through mortals.

For examle, Jesus' response when Molly asks him about the New Testament's 'Book of Revelations', for example, is "I haven't done much reading since I've been back... and whent it was written... well, I was dead at the time." His response to learning that people have adopted the cross as a symbol of his religion is also both funny and insightful and further underscores the theme of disconnect between Jesus and mortals: "The cruxifix is the symbol of Christianity? I hated the crucifix! Ouch!"

"Ultrachrist" is one of those all-too-rare movies that show that a low budget does not equate a bad movie. While the shoestring with which the film was made is often evident, it has a razorsharp script, a cast of excellent and very funny actors, and a soundtrack score that's almost a character unto itself in the movie--it's mostly traditional-sounding Yiddish music.

The only reason I don't give "Ultrachrist!" a Nine rating is because the ending is a bit weak. They try to do the old "let's save the day by putting on a show!" ending, but they don't quite manage to pull it off. It's funny, but it was the one part of the film where my attention wandered, and I started mentally reviewing my schedule for the rest of the day.

Despite that one misstep at the very end, I recommend "Ultrachrist!" highly to lovers of quirky, intelligent comedies.



Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Celebretard and the Media Moron

As I've said previously, I think Jesse James is an asshole and a diwmit. However, there's no reason for the idiocy that's been stirred up around this picture:



Click here to see the hysterical gossip article that was written to go with the above photo. Apparently, for the writer, the photo raises the following question: "Is James -- who has since checked into rehab -- a neo-Nazi?"

How does one draw that conclusion from that photo? Looks to me like James is trying to be funny rather than respectful of Hitler and Nazis. To me, that photo looks like the sort of thing any number of people might do if they were among friends and trying to get a laugh.

A more interesting question would be why the "friend" who took that picture would leak it to the media.

I suppose similar dimwits might draw the conclusion that I'M a neo-Nazi because of my upcoming observance of the destruction of the Third Reich, or because I always played the German when we played soldiers as kids because I owned a toy Luger.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Nazis Quit Mini-Blogathon Participants

A couple of other bloggers have expressed an interest in participating in my "Nazis Quit!" blogathon! If I get a few more interested parties promising to post Nazi-related reviews during the weeks between April 5 and May 7, it won't be a mini-blogathon. The following blogs will be participating in addition to my own:

I Like Horror Movies

Motion Picture Gems

If others decide to join in, I'll announce their particpation here as well. Maybe you'll like to post a review or two about pop-cultural Nazis in order to mark the anniversary of their well-deserved defeat? Click here for details on how you can participate.

Dick Giordano dead at 77

Influential American comic book artist and editor Dick Giordano passed away this past Saturday at the age of 77. Among his many noteworthy achievements was helping to reestablish Batman as one of DC Comics' premiere superhero titles, illustrating the very best comic book adaptation of Bram Stoker's "Dracula", and providing sleek finishes for just about every top artist who has worked for a major comics publisher since the mid-1960s. Much of Neal Adams' popularity during the 1970s can be attributed to Giordano's inks, I believe. Giordano provided a focus and clarity to Adams' art that no other inker (including Adams himself) has been able to do.

Another artistic giant has left us. The world is poorer for it.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Coming Soon:The 65th Anniversary of Nazi Defeat (plus Oliver Stone and Unknown Hitler)

Starting next month, I'll be conducting a celebration of the 65th anniversary of the Nazi Germany being bombed into oblivion by the United States and its allies. By way of a preview and to show that I'm not the only observing this milestone....

Oliver Stone's next project will open our minds and show us that Hitler and Stalin are people to the empathized with. Stone will show showing us Hitler really wasn't such a bad guy after all. You can read about it here.

I applaud Oliver Stone for giving Hitler the fair shake he's been denied by everyone except the likes of Americans in the early 1930s (many of whom regretted having said nice things about Hitler's Germany later on) and Hamas and Yassir Arafat and Saddam Hussein and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and any number of neo-Nazis leaders. The same goes to Stalin and Mao; they've been vilified by everyone save Barack Obama's advisers and Hugo Chavez, near as I can tell.

I wonder, though, if Oliver Stone will be able to match the well-deserved respect that Mel Brooks' gave Hitler in his classic song "The Hitler Rap." If Stone and Showtime are serious about giving such a great man the respect he and his movement deserve, they will be licensing Brooks' song for use in their series.





If Mel Brooks' song is too expensive, maybe they can secure this one:




While we wait for Oliver Stone to show us the Hitler we never knew (but should not vilify, because there is no person is "bad" or "good" according to Oliver Stone), here's my attempt at a documentary putting Hitler in context.







Friday, March 26, 2010

Shades of things to come?

Hugo Chavez continues to silence his opposition....

Owner of Anti-Chavez TV channel arrested

Here in the US, Our Glorious Leader and his cronies have been directly targeting media outlets and media personalities who have dared to be critical of him. Next time some of you out there decide to support the government cracking down on what is and isn't acceptable political speech and commentary, keep in mind what goes on in Venezuela and other dictatorships that don't have protected Freedom of Speech.

And, no matter what idiots like Sean Penn say, Hugo Chavez is a dictator. Obama has the personality and bearing of a dictator and only the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are keeping him in check. (Not that the Constitution seems to mean a whole lot to him and his fellow travelers.)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Robert Culp passes away



Robert Culp, the veteran actor best known for starring with Bill Cosby in the classic 1960s espionage-adventure series "I Spy" and for playing Bob in the 1969 movie "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice," died Wednesday morning. He was 79.

Culp fell and hit his head while taking a walk outside his Hollywood Hills home. He was found by a jogger who called 911 and was pronounced dead at Hollywood Presbyterian Medical Center in Los Angeles, said Lt. Bob Binder of the Los Angeles Police Department. An autopsy is pending.