Osama bin Laden tries for a softer image

I don't know if Osama bin Laden is trying to show that he's really not such a bad guy, or if he's just trying to emphasize the queer part in al-Queerda.

Whatever his reason, he's partying harder than a high schooler after his first beer and a couple of Ecstasy tablets.



(Okay... for the humor impaired, I KNOW that's not Osama bin Laden in the video. But it's still funny as hell.)

Barack Obama: Ghost Whisperer!

Should Barack Obama adopt the campaign slogan, "I see dead people"? A Memorial Day speech he gave in Las Cruces, New Mexico seems to indicate he should.

Obama opened his speech with this sentence: "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

He later says, "I speak with you today with great humility. My grandfather marched in Patton's Army, but I cannot know what it's like to walk into battle like so many of you."

Just in case you are prone to think this is Rush Limbaugh-generated hooey, see and listen for yourself:



Memorial Day is when Americans remember and honor soldiers who have died defending the United States and its values. Was Obama addressing the spirits of the dead in attendance? Can he see dead people? If elected, will he not only be the first Black President but also the first Ghost Whisperer president?

It's long been said that the dead are an important part of the electorate in Chicago--they often turn out in numbers equal to or greater than the living--but could it be that the dead are ACTUALLY VOTING?! Can it be that all Chicago-based policitians have the ability to see dead people because they have to pander to them as well as the living?

Uwe Boll's 'Postal' dropped by big chains

Uwe Boll is a loudmouth filmmaker who by all accounts has a track record of producing crappy movies. Based on what I've seen, I don't think his work is as bad as some portray it--as I've said in the past, anyone who calls Uwe Boll the "worst filmmaker ever" hasn't seen enough movies--but there's no question that Boll has a higher opinion of his own work than his output seems to warrant.

Boll's latest film, "Postal", was slated to open this Wednesday in theaters, but it has now reportedlly been dropped by major distributors.

"Postal" was slated to open on 1,500 screens (including at the theater I tend to see movies at) and now it reportedly will open only in 4. Boll, of course, was quick to claim that "distributors are boycotting 'Postal' because of its political content" and given that the film apparently mocks Muslim terrorists and American Christian teleevangelists and poticians in equal amounts, he may be right.

"Postal" was the first Uwe Boll film that seemed interesting enough to me to warrant a trip to the multiplex. I was actually priotising it for viewing and reviewing above "Indiana Jones and the Empire of the Crystal Skull" because I was assuming it would be gone in an instant and because the title is so much shorter and easier to type. I'm dissapointed that I won't be able to check it out, but will now instead have to wait until the DVD comes along.

(I've already seen one commenter claim that Boll's film was dropped because theaters didn't want to show a film by someone who consistently turns out crappy movies that flop. If that is the only reason for dropping "Postal", then how does that explain a new Brian De Palma film stinking up movie houses every few years? Perhaps it has more to do with De Palma sucking as a director while also sucking certain parts of the male anatomy of movie industry big-wigs and thus having big studio clout behind his cinematic bowel movements? Insights are welcomed.)

'Dead Aim' is worth setting sights on

Dead Aim (1975)
Starrng: James Westerfield, Glen Lee, Venetia Vianello, Virgil Frye and Evaristo Marquez
Director: Jose Bolanos
Steve's Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The lives of three very different groups of people--a government employed undertaker (Westerfield) and his adopted son (Lee), a former prostitute (Vianello) and her sociopathic lover (Frye) and an unlucky Army deserter (Marquez) intersect in a barren desert at the height of the American Civil War.


"Dead Aim" is a bleak western that features gorgeous cinematography, interesting performances by all the principles, and a storyline comprised of two different plots that criss-cross as the movie unfolds but that are mostly so disconnected that the film borders on an anthology. However, the tales are linked thematically and by the fact that the two most decent characters in the film--the undertaker's son and the Army deserter--both fall in love with the only beautiful thing in the movie, the former prostitute.

This is an interesting film that is permeated with a unique atmosphere and style. In fact, it presents a world that seems to operate on its own rules, so viewers might have to suspend their disbelief and just go with the flow at times. However, it's also a film that will hold your attention, because, while there isn't a whole lot of action, you will want to see what strange turn the movie takes next, and you will be interested in knowing where it's all heading.

"Dead Aim" is an undeservedly obscure Mexican-produced western, and its presence in the "Mean Guns" set adds great value to an already low-priced DVD 20-movie pack.

Misheard lyrics of 'Numa-Numa-Ney'

There's a Romanian techno song that's taken YouTube by storm. Here are a couple homemade videos where posters tried to make sense of the lyrics in English. Both are hilarious.





And here's an earnest translation of the song.

Hi-tech vs superior numbers: Who wins?

Zulu (1964)
Starring: Patrick Magee, Jack Hawkins, Michael Caine, and Stanley Baker
Director: Cy Endfield
Steve's Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

In 1879, the British thought the Zulu Nation was no match for the modern weaponry of the greatest military force on Earth. When a massive Zulu army descended upon the lonely, lightly defended outpost at Roark's Drift, that theory will be put to the test.


"Zulu" has been touted as one of the greatest war movies ever made, and it lives up to that reputatation. From the early, tense scenes--as the British soldiers stationed at Roark's Drift start to recognize that the Zulu forces are massing--through the harrowing battle scenes that make up the bulk of the film, "Zulu" is perfectly paced and crafted. It features great acting, particularly from Michael Caine who gives one of his earliest and still his best screen performance, excellent camerawork, and a well-deployed musical score. The film is particularly impressive in the way it shows the strengths and weaknesses of both sides of this real-life, history-making battle.

The movie is so well made that eventhough I knew the historical events the movie portrayed, I became so engrossed in it that I soon forgot I already knew the ending. "Zulu" is one of those rare and truly excellent movies that draws the viewer completely in.

Kids' TV industry skewered in dark comedy

Death to Smoochy (2002)
Starring: Edward Norton and Robin Williams
Director: Danny Devito
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars


After kid's show superstar Rainbow Randolph (Williams) is disgraced in a bribery scandal, an idealistic young performer, Sheldon Mopes (Norton) and his trademark character of Smoochy the Purple Dinosaur are tapped by the network to fill Randolph's timeslot. An instant hit, Sheldon is soon faced with the choice of abandonining his dreams of entertaining and educating kids in a wholesome fashion for crass commercialism, or standing by his principles and taking on the kid's entertainment industry... a shadow-filled world that makes a Mafia Made Man summit look like a Boy Scout jamboree. And will he survive the insane attempts at revenge launched at him by an increasingly deranged Randolph?


"Death to Smoochy" is a dark comedy with some truly hilarious moments, with a cast of characters that grow ever more bizarre as the film progresses and we learn more about them. Williams in particular shines as the thoroughly corrupt and repulsive Rainbow Randolph, and Norton is also great as the idealistic-but-never-foolish Sheldon. The supporting cast (led by Danny Devito, Jon Stewart, and Harvey Fierstein) are all excellent in their parts.